That person

You know the one... the one who can't stop talking about his or her latest purchase -I did just get a new car. Or the one that has a never-ending supply of the new born photos... well, I don't have those or one of those. (Seriously, the kid looks the same - sleeping, awake - drooling in all - and, no, that's not a smile, it's gas).

But, here's the thing - I am suddenly aware. I've noticed recently, as I speak, my friends seem to be very focused on some deep thought - and I'm afraid it's not anything to do with my topic. Today at lunch, I was talking with Jen...I'm certain the glazed look in her eyes had absolutely nothing to do with my enthralling weekend. And, Dylan's texts are far less involved than my responses...I'm not sure, but I believe she might have meant it when she said "OMG, stop." Well, probably, she didn't.

Unfortunately, even though I recognize this look and the change in response from my friends, I can't stop myself.

So, be happy I'm not the close talker and I don't have a slide projector with a million vacation photos. And, give me some leeway because I may bore you to death with the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Love,

THAT PERSON

Something

It's an interesting word - something. It can mean a multitude of things depending on context. For example, you see a friend throw a fit over a seemingly small issue... that's something alright - something that might make you think they need a break, a pill or, even,a new friend. Another example: art hanging in a gallery... if you have no words - 'it's something' will suffice. But, the best use - at least the one I like the most - is to describe a thing of beauty, a hug or a kiss or just words spoken..."that is something" - there's not much more needed to be said.

How many?

I've received feedback that I have too many 'friends' on Facebook. Now, comparatively, I'd say my friend count is about average. But that would just be my guess. So, I did a little study. I turned on fb and used the first 20+ status updaters as my sample group.

As with any scientific study, there were some outliers... a couple of business owners that use fb as a marketing tool as much as a personal friend keeper. I excluded them from the study. Then, I looked at the Hyper-social (I've been unjustly accused) - people who do not own businesses, have causes, or other requirements that end with over 1000 friends and I excluded them too (because they are FREAKS). Finally, I looked at the anti-social... if you don't want to communicate with people - why are you on fb?? Just to show I'm actually carrying an average number of friends, I kept the wallflowers.

So, out of 22, I removed the two freaks, and summed the number of friends listed for each of the others. 6031 friends for 20 people... do the math... 301 (and a half) each on average. Some had around 100, some had over 500; a couple had under 60 and one, oddly enough, had 100 even.

Still, the point made to me was that noone - no sane person - really has 300+ friends. So, over the past few weeks, I've been doing a little cleaning - here and there - of my friend listing. The original definition for who got to stay was: "who would get on a boat with me"... most people merely nodded their heads, but missed pressing the buttons to signal me any other way.

Instead, my decision point, currently, is one of the following:

1) I'm not easily offended, so if you post something so stupid or nasty on fb that I rear back... you're off the list

2) If I have to ask - now, where did I meet this person... he or she is off the list

3) If you post anything that would be offensive to anyone I love... you're off the list

4) Crazy family of an ex? Really? Do I need to say it?... OFF THE LIST


I'm down to 264 now.

My inbox is full...

and I assume this is not a unique experience. I can't help but think, though, what would happen if you pursued all of the emails you received?

For instance, if I were a single, mixed Asian-Black, Straight, older man, the Viagara would REALLY come in handy for all of the dating I could do. Or, if I were an Indian Cougar (no, not a species of a cat)...it seems there is a draw for that dating pool I never knew existed. No matter what though, my skin tone doesn't lend itself to even faking it ... an overdose of spray tan would still leave me three shades too light.

As I scroll through the SPAM folder - making sure no emails that I really do want to read are included before I empty the bin - I am amused; I am entertained; sometimes a little shocked, but mostly I'm confused, just clearly not as confused as the Marketing guys at these companies.

Urgent and Humble assistance needed

That's what the email said...and, well, this person CLEARLY has no idea who I am. But, with Allah's holy will and power, I have been chosen to help Mrs. Hajar Azeez with her $5.5 million dollars.

It seems a shame, you know, with all she's been through: the loss of her beloved husband only four days after he became ill and now her cancer diagnosis and two months to live. ... Her speech so horribly affected that she directs me not to call for such an urgent matter (well, that and her husband's relatives who might find out about the money and use it in an unholy manner).

I nearly feel compelled to help Hajar (afterall, we should be on a first name basis if I'm going to donate all this money to the children's homes/orphanages/motherless homes as per her sincere will). But, since this email sat in my spam box (had I known it was coming, I most assuredly would have had her email on my non-spam list) and she says any delay in my reply will open the door for sourcing an organization or other devoted individual - well, to be honest, I feel like we're not as close as I had hoped. It's just such a young relationship - how does she already feel comfortable enough to give ultamatims?

Plus, I don't know where it could really go... beyond the fact there's less than two months to resolve this... I'm also feeling pressured by her last statement: "Until I hear from you by email; my dreams will rest squarely on your shoulders."

I mean, honestly, how can I be responsible for all your dreams when I can't even talk to you?!?

That's it. I'm not helping. $5.5 million or no. I can't take the pressure of this short-term relationship. However, if you'd like to help Hajar, you can reach her at the email she provided me. Just give me a call.

LUCKY

There are very few people who know the real me. Whether that's because I'm a "Gemini" or because I'm sincerely too cautious with my heart - who knows. But, what I DO know is this:

I love my dear friends. I've shared a lot with them and would do just about anything for them. I consider them family and they know it - friends that I can't consciously call only friends - there's no term fitting for them. We met because we were meant to play a role in each other's lives. I will always be with them.

I am fortunate. I don't have a lot of money. I don't have a glamorous life. I do have my friends, my health, a smile and great music.

I am Lucky. There's no logical reason for how or why, but I've been blessed. Blessed with opportunity, connection and heart. I have something most people would give anything to have. And, that makes me the luckiest person alive.

Regroup

Six years ago, I asked a couple of my cohorts at work to join me for grass roots networking and camaraderie. They are all fantastic women, working in a very male dominated environment. I had worked with each of them in some form or fashion, though, because I've had a few different roles in the company, many did not know each other.

I chose them carefully - not to ensure they all got along (though, I knew they would) - but because the dynamic of a group like this is vital to its survival. So, the criteria:

- Intelligent
- Strong
- Funny (or, at least, able to recognize and appreciate humor)
- Company-minded
- Compassionate
- Trustworthy

As an introduction, I sent an email to them all... sharing a little about each one:

Lynn - scrappy, from North Carolina, was poised to become a California Highway Patrol when she lived in San Francisco, but they couldn't handle her (ask her how she got kicked out...). She joined us through Fritz.

Mary - a reluctant debutante, raised in New Orleans, can detail financial and marketing moves we've made through the years, but would much rather be discussing LSU sports and JazzFest.

Eileen - a retired Army Major (joined before she graduated from High School) from Idaho who can hit a target from over 1000 meters... and has the target paper in her office to prove it. She's one of 9 kids (8 of whom joined the Army like their parents). Don't mess with her IT systems.

Brace - Atlanta native - vivacious, stylish, crazy and the best person for the job when customer entertaining is involved. In a word, Personality.

Gloria - Hailing from Detroit, Shopping and her Jack Russell are her hobbies. IT management is her role. She looks unassuming, but beware of any woman who can kick box and keep impeccable nails. (ask her about the door slamming incident...Priceless)

Nora - From Illinois...She's in Ocean Freight Marketing and getting her MBA. Quite possibly the funniest person I know.

Jill - She has an IE mind and works with customers. Originally from South Carolina, she has bubbly personality for sure - she loves traveling and tennis. Wicked serve.

There were 14 total and the group was great. We gathered pretty regularly just to share our experiences with people who truly understand. With Marketing, IT, Finance, Real Estate and Solutions and an age range of low 30s to upper 50s... it was a great group. Over the years, a couple have left the company, others were moved to new locations, and the group stopped being able to meet as often. But, the relationships remain. We've had consulting lunches to discuss the best choices on handling 401k and stock, we've used connections not in place previously to resolve company items and a deeper partnership was formed.

It makes me proud to see the relationships started in this group continuing in other areas. So, now, some of the old group has moved back to my location and a few replacements have been found. I'm starting it up again. I believe in these women and the power of relationships in large organizations. It doesn't hurt that they are also fantastic people.

It's in the air

It was a gorgeous afternoon...78 degrees, sunny, almost cloudless sky and a light breeze. And, not because of the weather, though it always makes it nicer, I went driving - windows down, music up - to explore the roads north of my home and clear my head.

There's something about blasting Aerosmith, John Denver, Jim Croce, Gladys Knight and others while winding through the hills. I found a trail riding location (noted for a future date), a great road for the day I finally get my bike (just beyond the end of 400) and a strong, yet strange showing of early Halloween fervor.




I can't say Halloween is a favorite holiday. But, I appreciate a well-decorated yard as much as anyone else. The key there is: well-decorated. I drove past this yard three times... What I can't easily show in this picture is the magnitude of the Halloween crap wasteland. Ironically, you CAN see one wooden skeleton sitting on a toilet with a REAL roll of toilet paper attached.

But I digress, the ride was to clear my head. To get some fresh air and perspective. What I found is my head is clear...my heart is almost full...and I have a million things I'd love to share with the One - even the hideous yard decorations of an overzealous Halloweener.

Mind over matter?

I used to believe you could shut down all emotion and just deal with the facts. And, I guess for the last 20+ years, I've done that. Unfortunately, the fact of the matter, now, is that my emotions are much stronger. I don't have the luxury of shutting them down and dealing in only shades of black and white.

Recently, all my emotions have been upturned - the ground of me has been tilled. I didn't know I could ever find myself in this upheaval.

Frankly, I'm not at all sure what to do with it.

Mulligan

"Do Over!" We used to yell that as kids on the playground when something got messed up or was no longer going the way we hoped.

If I could do it over, I'd enjoy more of my teen years. Really get to know the Edie of 14-20... and, maybe study a little harder.

If I could do it over, I'd spend more time with my nieces as they were growing up...man, they grew up WAY too fast.

If I could do it over, I would keep that house in Suwanee...it would almost be paid off by now.

Even with this list, there are not many things I want to repeat - but there are times when I wish I could change what I said, how I reacted or just the events that followed.

Now is one of those times.

Reunion

It's been 20 years since highschool...a little shocking really and, I know - predictable. But as I have been preparing for our gathering, I've been thinking about all that happened while we were there and all that has happened since. We walked in very young- directly from elementary school and only 8 years out of pre-school. We learned a lot in our classes and more than we should have from our elders.

I think of the questions that will be asked and the answers I'll be prepared to give...

I was. I am. I don't. And, I Wouldn't change a thing.


I was... Stuff happens and I'm better for it.
I am... And proud of it
I don't, but yours are lovely...
And, just like the end of our time in school, I wouldn't change a thing.

Blessed

Driving down the highway tonight, I peered off to the left. The lighting was perfect, the sun just dipping below the horizon, leaving the pinks, purples and violets as backdrops to the thousands of lighted homes in the valley. The cars around me worked in concert to avoid the more than occasional road hazard. The pedestrians taking the chance again of crossing the highway so as to avoid a much longer, maybe even uncharted, but safer route seemed to be soothed by this lighting as well. There's that moment - it doesn't happen every day...sometimes we don't notice it for months on end during our rushed lives. But, every once in a very great while, there's that perfect light...that airy breath of a breeze...that amazing hum of the world around us that reminds us of the miracles, the blessings, we are granted daily.

Too much or too little

As I look around, I see a lack of moderation pervading our world.

Today, for instance, I am sitting outside the hotel in Goiania. The room leaves a bit to be desired when it comes to Comfort...ironic because I am staying at the Comfort Suites Flamboyant which would not credibly be described by any of those words. Too little.

The man just to my left is, at once, too much and too little. His body hair - too much...I know shag is the fad, but damn. His bathing suit - too little (but looks to be JUST the right size to cover his goods).

I've been working too much and playing too little. Let's fix that.

But seriously...TOO much back hair surrounding this pool.

Pants on Fire

I lie to myself. It's true. Today, for instance, I'm lying about my eyes. They are clearly watering... irritated by something I can't quite identify. In truth, I know, it's probably the pollen which has overwhelmed Atlanta. Others have suffered miserably for years because of the yellow swarm, but I am a native. I grew up with this stuff and I proudly pronounce, "it doesn't bother me". I presume it is much like a person who lives in higher elevations meeting others who aren't used to the thinner air. I have never been "weak" when it comes to living here and I'm not quite ready to admit that I might be succumbing to pollen's power.

So, for now, I do not have allergies...

I also lie about my ability to enjoy late nights and function well the next morning. There were times in my life a couple of hours of sleep would suffice and I'd start again. This is no longer the case - honestly - though, I am not yet ready to admit this either.

For now, I'm still young enough...

I also tend to believe I keep up with relationships. Sadly, I could be mistaken here. I believe that my friends know I am thinking of them often and mean to speak with them just as often. I think they know I want nothing more than to spend more time visiting, working in their yards, traveling and laughing with them. But, I let other items get in the way...I guess I am ready to admit I'm not the best at maintaining relationships.

Now, I'll work on it.

Hold onto yer butts!

From time to time, I find myself thinking of making a dramatic life change. And, no, it's not a midlife thing (frankly, I've always thought it presumptive to think that 40 is "midlife" - no one knows what will happen tomorrow).

No, it is more because, as I live day to day, I find that my life goals change. When I was 20 (young, dumb and newly married), I wanted 6 kids and I wanted them as soon as possible. True, at this point in life, they'd all be almost grown, but I think my lifespan might well have been decreased by decades too. From 25 to 30, I still thought I wanted the big house and the white picket fence...now, I feel like simplifying.

But, a couple of years ago, my best friend gave me a little plaque that says, "this life is not a dress rehearsal" and, it is a great reminder every day. With my friend making a move of her own (inadvertently changing my life too), I'm ready to chase a dream. Fasten your seat belts.

Advertising genius...

One day, not too long ago (ok, it was probably over a year ago, but time is relative after all), I was driving to Zuffy's Place (my favorite sports bar). As I neared the turn and slowed to a stop for the light, I saw the most clever sign. In fact, not only clever, but I knew from the time I read it that the owner of this car wash was brilliant.

You see, it's not the best part of town - not the worst. And, frankly, no one would say this location was the best, but the people who live in the area are a mix between the very hard-working blue collar types and the yuppies just past their party primes. I figured the car wash would have a set of usual customers having their cars cleaned on payday for a date night and this sign was a way to invite the higher-browed locals too.

See, here's the thing... the sign read simply:

"Carpe Shampoo"

And, then, I realized, it was probably not a clever invite, but a slip of a letter and I turned right.