In plain sight...

Once, a very religious man sat in front of his TV watching the terrifying news of the impending storms. Warnings were blaring for residents to evacuate as the rivers were estimated to rise far above normal levels and floods were certain. But, he sat quietly with his belief that his God would save him - no need for alarm.

Sure enough, after a while, the rains came and the waters began rising. The man stayed calmly in his house. The door bell rang and it was his neighbor, Jim. Jim said, "come on, old man, let's get out of here." But the man, steadfast in his belief said, "thank you, but no, my God will save me." Jim hesitated but left.

A few hours later, the water was still rising. With water now up to his hips, the old man went upstairs. As he stood looking out his window, a rescue worker came floating up in a canoe and said, "Hey! Get in, I'll take to you dry land." But, the old man, still calm and now praying, said, "Thank you, but no, my God will save me." The rescue worker didn't want to leave him there, but had no other recourse, so eventually paddled to the next house to check on residents.

As the waters continued to climb, the old man was relegated to the roof in order to stay out of the rushing waters. As he stood on the peak of his house, a helicopter came by and dropped a rope. The rescuer above said, "Grab on! We'll bring you up and take you to safety!" But, the old man - a believer to the end - once again declined with the statement, "Thank you, but no, my God will save me." In a flash, the waters washed over the top of the house and the man was swept away.

When the old man arrived at the pearly gates, he was disillusioned. He took the first chance he got and asked, "my God, I believed you would save me, but you did not and now I have died...I don't understand."

And, God said, "I sent you a neighbor, a canoe and a helicopter - what more do you want?"

Catching up

I go through cycles - much like the washing machine.

{Agitate} This weekend, I thought long and hard about people I haven't seen or talked to in far too long - including one of my best friends. How do I let this thing called life get in the way? Well, I am here to rededicate my attention. Recent losses have me thinking about the time we have...it's not much.

{Rinse} So, to you - my dearest friend from the northwest... words cannot express how much I miss gardening (never thought you'd hear that from me, did you?), cooking and mixing the strangest (yet, tasty) concoctions with you. You know all the ins and outs of me...mostly before I do. This one is for you: An old memory.

{Spin} It's time for me to reconnect - even if I can't get out of the whirlwind (or Spin cycle, as it were) - to catch back up with all my friends, even if just through this post and a few follow up emails.

Now, on to the dryer and the never-ending search for that other sock!

If it ain't one thing, it's my Mother

Mom and Dad are driving to my cousin Frank's wedding in Maryland. Since it is such a long trip and mom's car recently burped up a transmission issue, they decided to rent a car. And, mom, being the practical person she is, found the closest car rental location to home - a Hertz at the Toyota World dealership.

Now, the issues with Toyotas have been well documented over the last year. In addition, the recalls and fixes have also shared the limelight. And, in stark contrast to the recent BP Public Relations work, Toyota seems to have handled the massive - could have been catastrophic - safety concerns very well. But, my mom is not quick to jump off the bandwagon.

Mom calls the Hertz (again, at the TOYOTA World dealership) and proceeds to tell them she does NOT want a Toyota.

Take a step back here for a moment...I work at a very well known transportation company...even though we have many vendors here, I would be offended if any of them said, "please don't send me anything unless it comes through FedEx."

The poor Hertz guy got no less than 4 calls from mom in a single day, as he searched for and requested any full size car but a Toyota to be delivered to his location. Finally, just after 5pm, the phone rings for mom. He has found and had another option delivered...a Nissan Altima. When I heard this, I smirked. (I had an Altima and shared my auto woes with mom throughout my ownership).

Mom, being her ever predictable self, turns to me and says, "should I call him back and tell him I'll take the Toyota?"

WHAT THE???

Yesterday, I visited a bar I have neglected for years... Fado! (http://www.fadoirishpub.com/atlanta/) I love the feel of the old Irish pub and the World Cup is a perfect time to join in the festivities. As you may or may not know, the original Atlanta Fado was directly on Peachtree Street in Buckhead, but a developer with big plans and unfortunate timing (didn't see the economy tanking) bought the strip to make the Rodeo Drive of the South (but I digress).

Fado Atlanta moved only a block away and reopened. However, due to the aforementioned economy issues, the construction site is still blocked by fencing and tarp - if you peer through the gate, you might also see tumbleweed. Yesterday, I parked next to the tarped fencing and stepped out of my car. And, here's where it got a little strange...

I saw a woman, in no way looking homeless or crazy, walking down the crumbled remains of sidewalk near my car. She was about 8 feet away when she knelt down next to the construction fence and began digging in a small hill of sand. Odd, so, I stood there for a minute and watched. She picked up something and turned her back... I could not see for sure what happened next. However, since I was of no consequence to her and she clearly had a mission, she didn't even look my way before crouching again at the sand pile.

This time, I had a better angle...she grabbed a fistful of sand and - no lie - put it in her mouth. She proceeded across the street to another sand pile and repeated. I was (and, truthfully AM) astonished. Had she looked like the average street person, I may not have questioned it, but she didn't.

I relayed the story to a friend and we researched on the iPhone. It seems there is a condition that drives people to eat things like Sand, Gravel, Drywall, Coal, Chalk, etc. The condition is called Pica. The condition's name comes from the Latin word for magpie, a bird which is reputed to eat almost anything. (from Wikipedia, so take it with a grain of...in this case, sand).

Three cheers for this mom...

Often, during lunch, I'll spend time catching up on my phone calls. As I sat in the shade of the parking lot maple, listening, sharing and laughing, a Land Rover practically squealed it's tires coming to a stop alongside me.

I looked over in time to see an obviously frustrated woman open the driver door and whip around the back of the SUV. Then, I heard it... I guess I knew it was coming and I was not alone. Her child must have known it was coming too. I heard the door open and mom pulled the kid out. Utilizing my best eavesdropping-but-trying-not-to-look-like-it skills, I heard mom say, "This is ridiculous behavior and you know it. Now, turn around!" Pop, Pop.

Like Santa, mom put the child back into the car and - in a flash - was back in her seat as well. And, they were gone. I did not hear a cry or a peep from the child - which indicated to me, he or she knew it was a well-deserved pit stop.

Now, some people might be horrified by this scene. I was cheering this mom along. Go mom... don't be afraid to teach your children how to act!

It's good to see the ol' "Don't make me stop this car" is in full effect.

Mahna Mahna

I grew up with the Muppets... love the old men in the balcony (Statler and Waldorf) and their witty remarks, of course Kermit and Miss Piggy are a mainstay, but my absolute favorite is...ANIMAL!!!!

That said, I always thought Animal was the star of Mahna Mahna... he's not. It's done by the muppet of the same name... essentially he speaks only his name... watch the video here and sing along (or, better yet, try NOT to sing along).

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1303/ma_na_ma_na/

And, now, the remake with Sandra Bullock ("Phenomena")!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5Mc55P1i9g


Enjoy and Happy Friday!

No political statement here...

Here's the deal, when reading this entry, don't worry about whether I'm a Republican or a Democrat (I've voted both ways in the past). This post is about having intelligent leaders. They represent us - that's the role they are elected to play...so, I prefer not having the world look at me like a fool...

That said, I always like to reflect on ironic events like this speech by Sarah Palin from February. Sarah's speech centered around the concept that 'We, the People, need a leader, not just a charismatic guy who can read a teleprompter.' Oddly, though, she decided the best place to keep her thoughts for the speech was ...drum roll please... the palm of her hand! Please feel free to review the attached link.

http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2010/02/08/politics/politicalhotsheet/entry6185820.shtml?tag=strip


When I saw this the first time, I had to send a note to a friend who sends anti-Obama mail my way all the time:

Subject: RE: SERIOUSLY, she was running for VP


Honestly. I want to think she is not this big of an idiot... I do. And, every time I come close to forgetting it and I say to myself, "no one should want to run for that job because the media and the public will tear you to shreds," she does something even more ridiculous.

Things she could have done differently this time:

1) carry a magazine or newspaper (ANY one of the many she reads daily per her conversation with Katie C.) and tape the notes to the cover
2) try memorizing: BUDGET, TAX, ENERGY and LIFT AMERICAN SPIRITS - because I understand how difficult it is to remember nuisance topics like those
3) use a teleprompter

REALLY?!?!

Today, after meeting with President Obama, BP Chairman Carl-Henric Svanberg told reporters in Washington: "I hear comments sometimes that large oil companies are greedy companies or don't care, but that is not the case with BP. We care about the small people." He later apologized and said he spoke "clumsily."

REALLY?

Methinks Public Relations at BP might be as bad as Spill Emergency Planning.

Blood, sweat and tears

June 14th is World Blood Donor day... did you know? The employees at the donation center didn't til they walked in today. I passed on donating at work last week, so I stopped by tonight on my way home.

Like everyone else, every time I give, I get to answer the same questions from the last donation:

Have you ever had a transplant?
Have you had a tattoo in the last 12 months?
And, then there's the questions of what your partner or former partners did before meeting you.

But, tonight, as I was clicking through the self assessment (always hoping to get the "right" answer), I saw a new one. Right after "have you ever been diagnosed with Hepatitis," there it was... Have you ever been diagnosed with Babesiosis? I read it quickly and erroneously as Babeosis (pronounced, in my imagination, Babe O sis). And, then followed that with my own questions:

What, exactly, are the symptoms of Babeosis?
And, Just how many opinions must you receive to be officially diagnosed with it?

I quickly decided I had been infected... because, of course, I'm awesome.

So, a few minutes later when Prem, the Red Cross associate taking my vitals, sat down, I asked him... "What is Babeosis?"

Prem, in his nicest, educated, somewhat condescending tone, corrected me... Babesiosis (correctly pronounced Bobby see o sis) is a parasitic disease much like Malaria, but spread by ticks.

It took no more than that description... I am cured!

First things first...

After the Valdez spill in March of 1989, Exxon Oil Company seemed to take a less aggressive approach to cleanup than the nation expected. Following the scenes of clean up crews with paper towels on the evening news, many people sent their shredded Exxon Gas Cards back to the company with just a touch of oil added to the envelope. Here's the thing...at the time, the Valdez spill was among the largest man-made environmental disasters. It spilled an approximate 250,000 gallons of oil in Prince William Sound.

No one knows quite yet how much oil has been spilled into the Gulf of Mexico. But we're beyond day 50 and the estimate is between 12,000 and 25,000 gallons are pouring in daily. Do the math. 600,000 to 1,250,000 gallons have been released into our water, our environment.

On Sunday, Tony Hayward, CEO of BP said, "I'd like my life back." He has since apologized for being insensitive... but Mr. Hayward, with all due respect from a former BP Amoco employee...

I want my ocean back first.

"Serving" you since 1973...

If you know me, then you know that I am a bit of a language -scratch that - Grammar freak. Grammar is at the core of many of my pet peeves.

As an example, just this morning, I was listening to the radio on my way in and, lo and behold, one of the personalities said, "irregardless." Honestly... once and for all... IRREGARDLESS is NOT a word. Just use your language skills to figure it out:

ir = not or without, (e.g. irregular - meaning 1 a : not being or acting in accord with laws, rules, or established custom)

regard = : attention, consideration (e.g. - regarding the question at hand...)

less = without

Put it all together - erroneously - and you get a combination that is a double negative and for all intents and purposes (a saying that will be noted later), is of no meaning.

Next item on the soapbox... while out at lunch today, I saw an example of misused quotation marks. I know that we forget the rules of grammar and language over time, but I honestly thought this was one of the easier punctuation marks to remember. Clearly, I was wrong.

(Note: to reduce confusion, I am refraining from using quotation marks around the sign wording)

The sign reads :

"Serving" Breakfast and Lunch since 1953. "Kids" eat free.

Do you think they mean that some people would call what they do "serving" while others think of it as "ignoring?" Or that someone eats free and, if I were to go there for lunch with my mother, I could eat free? (I am her kid, after all) I call my dog, Smokey, my son... does that mean they'll feed him too?

I'm not the only one driven insane by quotation marks...Check out this site: http://www.juvalamu.com/qmarks/

Finally, for this entry anyway, (For you, Gigi, and because I noted it above) a hint for all. Please know your cliche' and its meaning before use. I had a manager that would massacre the cliches. After every bloody (meant in the way of massacre, not of British cursing) use, my co-worker and I would cringe, laugh and repeat.

A couple of classics:

"Bleeding like a stuffed Pig" (how much can a stuffed pig bleed?) and "For all intensive purposes" (we didn't work in a hospital, but perhaps useful for the pig).

Now that I think about it...I'm glad he never used "Balls to the Wall."

Growing up Georgian

Another excerpt from "Not my native tongue" to lighten the mood:


We’ve all got our own stereotypes of different people and parts of the country. It’s human nature to take what you have heard as the truth until you’ve seen it for yourself. But, after spending the first 15 years of my life in Atlanta and then setting out on my travels to other parts of the world, I learned of one that never crossed my mind. Apparently, some people not from Georgia believe that we eat dirt. Now, without ever having been to New York, I would venture to guess that not everyone there is rude, walks fast and lives in Manhattan. I would also go out on a limb to say not everyone in California looks terrific in a swimsuit. And, finally, while I may be stretching it, I don’t think everyone in Las Vegas is related to the mob. So, let me help you out… beyond the mud pies I made as a kid, I’ve never eaten dirt. In fact, I don’t know anyone who has (there was that one episode of Oprah that talked about getting iron from the red clay, but I’m going on record as saying that doesn’t count).

That’s right, I said it. We don’t eat dirt. And, while I’m at it, I’ve never (knowingly) eaten roadkill, opossum or otherwise. I have heard of some who have eaten squirrel but, frankly, it sounds too gamey for my taste.

Now that we’re clear on that dirt-eating thing, let’s move on. We, and by we I mean a good number of people here, do walk around barefoot. Not because we can’t afford shoes and not that we have extra toes or webbed feet that don’t fit in Manolo Blahniks, but because it just feels good. It’s not natural to want to wear shoes - we all fight it as children – so why did you stop fighting it? My shoes are off as soon as I’m home. And, as long as it’s warm enough outside (55 degrees or more), I’m only wearing flip-flops when I do need to guard the bottoms of my feet. One word of caution – and I’m dead serious about this – when and if you decide to go barefoot, sandaled, mandaled (man sandals) or flip-flopped, make sure you have properly cared for your toenails and toes. Few things will draw more attention than poor pedi-maintenance.

Things ain't what they used to be...

Today, while reading the news, I just kept thinking about Marvin Gaye's song, "Mercy, Mercy Me" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9BA6fFGMjI&feature=related).

It's a sad state of affairs and, while we don't know all that is happening, we know that our wildlife is suffering. It's not a hard path of logic to follow... we will all see the impact of this oil leak somewhere in our daily lives. I found this picture online today... (If you don't know, the brown Pelican is the Louisiana state bird) it speaks volumes.

I try to keep the blog upbeat, but sorry...there's nothing funny about this.

Happy Birthday, Grandma

She died five years ago Valentine's Day. And, while we were never close, there will always be a part of me attributed directly to her. She was the steadfast German...stubborn, hardworking and - even witty. She was the matriarch of the family, most times driving us crazy (and, through that, providing us many smiles and laughs over the years). She had an iron will and a silken hand. She was deeply rooted in her faith and easily voiced her opinion (which was often in direct conflict with mine). But, she was the mother of three, grandmother of eight, great-grandmother of 5 and she was ours.

Today marks the date of her birth 102 years ago. Happy Birthday Grandma and thanks for everything.