Tuesday, October 18, 2011

How many?

I've received feedback that I have too many 'friends' on Facebook. Now, comparatively, I'd say my friend count is about average. But that would just be my guess. So, I did a little study. I turned on fb and used the first 20+ status updaters as my sample group.

As with any scientific study, there were some outliers... a couple of business owners that use fb as a marketing tool as much as a personal friend keeper. I excluded them from the study. Then, I looked at the Hyper-social (I've been unjustly accused) - people who do not own businesses, have causes, or other requirements that end with over 1000 friends and I excluded them too (because they are FREAKS). Finally, I looked at the anti-social... if you don't want to communicate with people - why are you on fb?? Just to show I'm actually carrying an average number of friends, I kept the wallflowers.

So, out of 22, I removed the two freaks, and summed the number of friends listed for each of the others. 6031 friends for 20 people... do the math... 301 (and a half) each on average. Some had around 100, some had over 500; a couple had under 60 and one, oddly enough, had 100 even.

Still, the point made to me was that noone - no sane person - really has 300+ friends. So, over the past few weeks, I've been doing a little cleaning - here and there - of my friend listing. The original definition for who got to stay was: "who would get on a boat with me"... most people merely nodded their heads, but missed pressing the buttons to signal me any other way.

Instead, my decision point, currently, is one of the following:

1) I'm not easily offended, so if you post something so stupid or nasty on fb that I rear back... you're off the list

2) If I have to ask - now, where did I meet this person... he or she is off the list

3) If you post anything that would be offensive to anyone I love... you're off the list

4) Crazy family of an ex? Really? Do I need to say it?... OFF THE LIST


I'm down to 264 now.

Monday, October 17, 2011

My inbox is full...

and I assume this is not a unique experience. I can't help but think, though, what would happen if you pursued all of the emails you received?

For instance, if I were a single, mixed Asian-Black, Straight, older man, the Viagara would REALLY come in handy for all of the dating I could do. Or, if I were an Indian Cougar (no, not a species of a cat)...it seems there is a draw for that dating pool I never knew existed. No matter what though, my skin tone doesn't lend itself to even faking it ... an overdose of spray tan would still leave me three shades too light.

As I scroll through the SPAM folder - making sure no emails that I really do want to read are included before I empty the bin - I am amused; I am entertained; sometimes a little shocked, but mostly I'm confused, just clearly not as confused as the Marketing guys at these companies.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Urgent and Humble assistance needed

That's what the email said...and, well, this person CLEARLY has no idea who I am. But, with Allah's holy will and power, I have been chosen to help Mrs. Hajar Azeez with her $5.5 million dollars.

It seems a shame, you know, with all she's been through: the loss of her beloved husband only four days after he became ill and now her cancer diagnosis and two months to live. ... Her speech so horribly affected that she directs me not to call for such an urgent matter (well, that and her husband's relatives who might find out about the money and use it in an unholy manner).

I nearly feel compelled to help Hajar (afterall, we should be on a first name basis if I'm going to donate all this money to the children's homes/orphanages/motherless homes as per her sincere will). But, since this email sat in my spam box (had I known it was coming, I most assuredly would have had her email on my non-spam list) and she says any delay in my reply will open the door for sourcing an organization or other devoted individual - well, to be honest, I feel like we're not as close as I had hoped. It's just such a young relationship - how does she already feel comfortable enough to give ultamatims?

Plus, I don't know where it could really go... beyond the fact there's less than two months to resolve this... I'm also feeling pressured by her last statement: "Until I hear from you by email; my dreams will rest squarely on your shoulders."

I mean, honestly, how can I be responsible for all your dreams when I can't even talk to you?!?

That's it. I'm not helping. $5.5 million or no. I can't take the pressure of this short-term relationship. However, if you'd like to help Hajar, you can reach her at the email she provided me. Just give me a call.

Monday, October 3, 2011

LUCKY

There are very few people who know the real me. Whether that's because I'm a "Gemini" or because I'm sincerely too cautious with my heart - who knows. But, what I DO know is this:

I love my dear friends. I've shared a lot with them and would do just about anything for them. I consider them family and they know it - friends that I can't consciously call only friends - there's no term fitting for them. We met because we were meant to play a role in each other's lives. I will always be with them.

I am fortunate. I don't have a lot of money. I don't have a glamorous life. I do have my friends, my health, a smile and great music.

I am Lucky. There's no logical reason for how or why, but I've been blessed. Blessed with opportunity, connection and heart. I have something most people would give anything to have. And, that makes me the luckiest person alive.